Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
