seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
