Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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