And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
