false alarm. still invincible.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
