i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
