What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
