I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
