"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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