would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He better not be in your backpack
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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