If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
