I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
