so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
