The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize