My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize