thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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