it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize