why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize