you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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