At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
