He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
