We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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