STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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