Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
