I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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