Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
