What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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