What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
