I got chris browned last night
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
