Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator

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(707): View more from California

He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals

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(314): View more from Missouri

I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

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(407): View more from Florida

Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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(276): View more from Virginia

That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.

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(503): View more from Oregon

God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.

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