so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize