bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
