I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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