Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize