Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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