I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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