my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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