Joe is yelling at the trees again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
