Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
