So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize