I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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