Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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