...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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