couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize