I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
