Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't think brook has ever known best
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
