i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So squirting runs in the family.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
