why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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