The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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