bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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