If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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