I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
