Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
