Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she told me i tasted like america
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
