It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
