Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
