yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
