I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
