so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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