just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
