With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
