dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
