I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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