I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
