A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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