I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
