at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize